An everyday girl dad discusses: boys wearing girl clothes
Monday, October 24th, 2016
This is not a fucking thing. We have made it all up.
Clothes don’t have genders. I’m not kidding you, this is a fact.
Boys simply wear clothes even if those clothes are are pink, have frills, have pictures of girls on them, have the word girl on them, are a dress. These are, in every scenario, clothes.
So, if a boy is wearing clothes, those clothes are for boys. If a girls is wearing clothes, those clothes are for girls. If that child identifies as neither, well then, they are wearing clothes.
What about gender neutral clothing?
There is something that bugs me when we present gender neutral clothing for our kids. Try some time to search for the term “gender neutral clothing for kids.” I expect what you’ll find is a bunch of pants and shirts that simply ignore the colours blue and pink. Some will have animals on them, others will have robots. Most of it will be really great clothing that you would assume your own kids would probably love to wear.
What you very likely not will not find, is dresses, because we have attached dresses to femininity. And we have historically attached femininity with being weaker. So when we attach boys with dresses we slot them away from masculinity and towards words like weak and wrong.
See how many stupid things we can do in such a short amount of time?!
We do this because we think we have to. We do not. We are allowed to support boys who like to play with princesses, or more practically, hair dressers, nurses, and elementary school teachers the same way we easily support girls who want to be police officers or CEOs.
Jobs too, do not have genders. As adults we need to loosen up the reins on all the boys do this and girls do that ideas we have built up.
You cannot ruin a boys life by allowing him to wear a dress when he wants to wear a dress. You can ruin a boys life by telling him the things he wants to wear make him unnatural or weird. You can hijack a boy’s self-confidence for years by telling him his feelings are wrong.
So if your boy asks to wear a dress: find a great one. Tell him how great he looks in it. Then, go about living life, supporting him if he needs support.
Do we have to push boys towards wearing dresses just because they should be allowed to? Of course not. But we should not actively promote against it.