Are those toys for girls or for boys: a guide

Tuesday, August 18th, 2015

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We don’t have Target any more in Canada and with all the news about them removing gendered labels in their toy areas, I can’t help but think “THANK GOD! IMAGINE HOW TERRIBLE THIS WOULD BE FOR OUR KIDS IF THEY PULLED THIS SHOT ON US!”

Parents have been shouting “my kid has an identity! They are a boy or girl!” for days now and I can only assume they are also shouting “and that identity is tied very strictly to the aisle in Target they walk down!” Because, well, because why not?

For now, maybe even for up to a full calendar month, these parents will probably still be able to see the boy toy or girl toy labels the way you can kind of see dots of something after you stare at the sun for a couple of seconds. But, faster than we’d like, those ghost labels are going to disappear and they’ll be left looking at a LEGO Friends set labeled as a “building set for kids” and thinking “which kid? I have two of them? Who do I buy this for? I don’t remember who asked for it? Where’s the sign? Damnit.”

Basically, there’s a month to be able to help parents understand exactly what it is that makes up a boy’s toy and what makes up a girl’s toy.

Is that toy you’re holding for girls or for boys: a guide

pink square

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A pink thing: Boy or girl toy?

Does your boy like pink things? If yes, he might like this.

Does your girl like pink things? If yes, your girl might like this.

Has either your boy or your girl ever said to you “if you ever buy me a pink thing I’m going to flush it down the toilet and you always say you don’t have enough money to fix the plumbing so that sounds like a bad idea.” If yes, this toy might not be for them.

Verdict: toy for boys or girls. Or, just a toy.

blue things

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A blue thing: boy or girl toy?

Does your boy like blue things? If yes, he might like this.

Does your girl like blue things? If yes, your girl might like this.

Has your boy or your girl ever told you “if you ever buy me a blue toy I’m going to learn karate and then go around the house chopping everything we own in half.” If yes, this might not be the toy for them.

Verdict: toy for boys or girls. Or, just a toy.

Captain America toy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A male superhero: boy toy or girl toy?

Does your boy like superheroes? If yes, then yes.

Does your girl like superheroes? If yes, then yes.

Verdict: toy for boys or girls. Or, just a toy.

FEMALE SUPERHERO TOY NOT FOUND

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A female superhero: boy toy or girl toy?

Does your boy like superheroes? If yes, then yes.

Does your girl like superheroes? If yes, then yes.

Verdict: toy for boys or girls. Or, just a toy.

Also, where did you find this? Asking for a friend.

Spaceship toy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A spaceship: boy toy or girl toy?

Does your boy know who Samantha Cristoforetti is? If yes or no, then yes.

Does your girl know who Chris Hadfield is? If yes or no, then yes.

Verdict: toy for boys or girls. Or, just a toy.

baby doll with baby doll

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A baby doll holding a baby doll: boy toy or girl toy?

Does your boy know that people are at some point babies? Yes? Wonderful!

Does your girl know that people are at some point babies? Yes? That’s great!

Verdict: boy toy and girl toy. Or, just a toy.

Woman with chainsaw

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A chainsaw: boy toy or girl toy?

This was just a joke! Chainsaws really can affect the lives for your kids and the signage on them hasn’t changed at all.

Verdict: it’s a goddamn chainsaw! Come on.


It’s trick business of course because so many toys look perfectly suitable for both boys and girls. If the toy you’re looking for is not in this aisle, try asking your child what exactly it is that they’d like. Then, using the answer they provide, find that exact thing on the shelf (don’t look up for the signs, they’re gone remember!). Don’t be fooled by colours or the types of animals that adorn these toys.

If they said “I’d like a notebook with a unicorn fighting a Balrog on it,” then that’s what they want. If they say “I’d like a notebook with Optimus Prime sliding down a rainbow,” then that’s what they want.

Oh, and if you still find yourself stuck in the exact middle of a toy aisle looking for any sign at all about whether or not a toy is for girls or for boys, just remember: THEY’RE ALL JUST FUCKING TOYS AND THEY WON’T CHANGE HOW YOUR CHILD IDENTIFIES! Unless it’s a chainsaw.

Good luck people!

4 responses to “Are those toys for girls or for boys: a guide”

  1. Christie says:

    Brilliant!

  2. Simon says:

    I’m imagining hordes of boys and girls, men and women, wandering the aisles of Target unable to decide what toys to buy anymore.

  3. Jack says:

    I don’t particularly care that they removed the signs but people crack me up because they pretend that if we make everything ‘equal’ that will change everything.

    It won’t change that there are some natural differences between boys and girls and that these differences don’t make either better or worse, just different.

    My kids often played with the same toys but my son and daughter often made gender specific choices and not because they were told or instructed to, they just did it.

    Sometimes we take our outrage to ridiculous places.

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