She said what? You’re a butt

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

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She said what? You’re a butt.

When she says it: Pretty much when I’m causing her some degree of grief. Or if I’ve let slip one of my patented accidental swears in the house. So, she has the opportunity to bring this one out pretty much every hour of every day.

What it means: Strangely, it doesn’t just mean what you think it does, which is that I am a butt, although in some circumstances, that is exactly what it means. Leah will also call me a butt if I’ve used the word but in a sentence or if I’ve sworn at an ant crawling across our kitchen table.

“Leah, I’d like to give you this popsicle but I’m afraid if I give it to you now you, you won’t listen to me for the rest of the night.”

“Daddy, you’re a butt.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said but. You’re a butt.”

“For┬áChrist sake’s┬áLeah, you can’t call people a butt.”

“Daddy, you’re a butt.”

“Excuse me?”

“You used potty brain words so you’re a butt.”

It also means it’s only a matter of time before she moves from words like butt to words like shit and it’s a little more difficult to laugh those ones away.

I’m hopeful that along the way Leah will experience many teachers who will tolerate her misuse of the word butt but I can’t expect they’ll let it slide when she calls her classmates a douchebag.

The simplest solution to this would obviously be for me to stop swearing, but that’s not as easy as it sounds.

“Daddy, you’re a butt.”

“Leah, I was reading a blog post out loud, I didn’t swear at all.”

“You said ‘but that’s not as easy as it sounds.’ You’re a butt.”

See what I mean.

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